How To Brush Your Teeth With Spencer Metzner!
by Sonic the Celestial Dragon
Summary: Spencer Metzner is gonna teach you all how to brush your teeth... in a funny way. Join this gorilla in learning to brush your teeth.


**Hey, I'm gonna give you something funny, 'kay? This is based on a funny video I saw on Youtube, and I thought I should show it to you with Spencer Metzner's POV. Here it is!**

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La-la-dee, da-dee, I have wings. I'm gonna try to fly, yes. Wait, these aren't working. These are garbage. Ninety-nine cents for those fake wings. You stink I'm gonna throw you in the toilet!

Oh, hey guys, it's me Spencer Metzner the gorilla! Let's be honest: Are your teeth ever dirty? They are, huh? Well, it's time I teach you how to brush your teeth! I'm gonna make this super easy for you guys, just to be nice.

Okay, you wanna make sure you got teeth. Hey, congratulations! You got teeth! So now you wanna make sure your teeth are _really _dirty, so why not bring home some chocolate?

**_*_CHOCOLATE!***

You better open that chocolate bar like a you're a five year old opening a birthday gift. Look excited at least! Now you're gonna take a bite and possibly another bite and- oh, what the chap stick. Just finish the whole entire chocolate bar. It's good.

And now, your teeth are gonna look so disgusting. Ha, you're so ugly, man! Your teeth smell! Yeah, cry it out, cry it out.

Just kidding, I'm gonna teach you how to brush your teeth, 'member?

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Now, you're gonna grab your brush and get your target by brushing your teeth. Make sure you get every single tooth in your mouth 'cause you want them all clean. Then, you're gonna realize, "Hey, I'm using a _hairbrush._" Ha, ha, that's one hairy styles of a brush. Then, you're gonna realize you have someone's dirty hair in your mouth, so make sure you remove those hairs.

Alright, you primates, time to get your toothbrush and toothpaste. Put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, but as much as you possibly can without it falling off 'cause we don't wanna waste that toothpaste. Now put it into your mouth safely. Then, simply take the rest of the toothpaste and squeeze it all into your mouth. You're gonna use all of this toothpaste, 'cause you have a lot of teeth and _lots and lots _of dirtiness in your mouth and you wanna clean that all out.

And after you finished that tube of toothpaste, you're gonna grab your _second_ toothbrush! Did you actually think that one toothbrush can handle that much toothpaste? No way, it's gonna drown. So that's why you're gonna take your second toothbrush, put the toothpaste on it, and then put it into your mouth. Oh, and make sure that the first toothbrush is in your right hand 'cause if it's not in your right hand, you're gonna get a toothpaste infection.

And then, you can begin brushing!

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Now just start brushing all around your mouth, top to bottom, side to side. You're gonna have to get every tooth individually. You're gonna have to treat every tooth as a child. Say you had thirty-one babies, are you gonna wipe every single one of those babies' buts? Of course you are, 'cause you love them! You wanna keep that child clean, and what happens if you don't take care of your child?

Yeah, the dentist is gonna come kidnap them.

While you're brushing, some of that toothpaste is gonna fall out, so try catching it. If you can't, you can just leave it on your shirt. And just keep doing this for the next two hours, twenty-five minutes, and thirty-seven seconds. I kept this one really simple for you guys, so be thankful.

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Now, you're done!

Your mouth might burn a little, but don't worry. It's nothing compared to what the dentist will do to you. Yes, I said the D-word. You do not want the D, ladies and gentlemen. The dentist is not a nice person. He will eat you.

Now, take all that leftover toothpaste and spit it into the drain. Now you're gonna realize that the inside of your mouth is still covered in toothpaste. So let's rinse that out. And because you guys are gonna be doing this five times a day, I'm gonna give you six different rinsing options!

1. The Double Egg (Crack two eggs into your cup and just drink it.)

2. The Orange Juice

3. The Homemade Ice Tea

4. The Mustard

5. The Milk (Oh, and make sure your milk is straight from a cow or your neck is gonna fall off)

6. The Old-Fashion Water

Take a big sip and start swishing it around your mouth for about 15-20 minutes (30 minutes on Saturdays). Then, you can tilt your head back and go "AAAAAAAHH!" And this is called "gargling." It makes bubbles, it's fun. And after you make your bubbles, release the water back into the sink. Now your teeth are clean like a hamster, **BUT YOUR ****FACE AIN'T!**

That's okay, all you gotta do is spin down to the ground, come back up, and your face is gonna be clean!

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And then, you're just gonna stare at yourself in the mirror 'cause you have really clean teeth. And that's all you gotta do, guys, five times a day. Don't forget!

**AND THAT'S HOW YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH!**

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**Ha, ha, ha! Okay, if you want Spencer to do another "How To", gimme a suggestion in the reviews. Hope you liked this. STCD is out!**


End file.
